BLUEPRINTS
The Parents
Chip Rose ’ 93 and Jill Rose
“Neither of us are really fans of outsourcing those
crucial early years.”
Their Challenges
If balancing work or graduate school and couple
time is a challenge, balancing both with parenthood
is even more so.
With 5-year-old twin girls and a son just 15
months younger, Chip Rose ’ 93 says that when it
comes to parenthood, he and his wife, Jill, “don’t
know anything different than crazy.”
The couple met in graduate school at the University of Baltimore and went on to work in communications, Chip at the University of Maryland, Baltimore County, and Jill for the Social Security
Administration. When Sadie and Stella were born in
2003, Jill took on what Chip calls “the real job in the
family,” staying home with their children.
They didn’t foresee all that the decision to have
Jill give up her communications job would mean.
“You don’t know what having your income cut in
half is like ’til you go through it,” Chip said. Since
day care can be expensive, “if you have multiples, it’s
probably cheaper to stay home and be hands-on.
And neither of us are really fans of outsourcing
those crucial early years.” He says they both —
especially Jill — have sacrificed to make the
arrangement work.
“She had a stellar career. Probably the thing she
misses most is the outside world, adult conversation, a
change of scenery, the things you take for granted as
a 9-to-5er. For all the Dilbert-style jokes, it’s easy to
forget that if you can take a coffee break or walk
around campus or have lunch with somebody, it’s
about 200 percent more time [to yourself] than a
stay-at-home mother gets.”
At first, Jill kept a door open to her former job.
But when their son, Lucas, arrived, she decided to
remain at home for the time being. “There’s light at
the end of the tunnel,” Chip said. “Starting this fall,
the girls will be in kindergarten. In two or three
years, she could be back in the work force.”
Their Coping Strategies
Meanwhile, they have perfected the perpetual
motion that parents of young children develop: picking up toys on every trip through a room, folding
laundry while watching TV, washing dishes while
talking on the phone. And they’ve gotten down the
evening routine. When Chip arrives home from the
office around 6 p.m., they split up the evening
chores. Jill generally cooks the family meal; Chip
bathes the children and gets them ready for bed.
The price of a night out can double if they pay a
COURTESY CHIP ROSE ’03 AND JILL ROSE
Chip Rose ’ 93, reading to his 5-year-old twin daughters,
and his wife, Jill, stay in perpetual motion with three
children. Time just for themselves is an infrequent luxury.
sitter, so they look for opportunities to give each
other little surprises, little notes, or just do nice
things for each other. Couple time tends to be simple. “If we catch a movie, that’s a big night,” Chip
said. “Friday night, it’s whatever’s on Netflix and
some carryout on payday.”
Having twins “forced us to play a zone defense
from the get-go,” Chip said. On weekends, he generally takes the children for a half-day to give Jill a
break. He usually works a 40-hour week, and he
says his workplace is flexible and family-friendly. A
short commute lets him get home quickly at night.
For him, going to work provides a good balance
to hands-on parenting. “Eight hours of no child
pulling at your pants leg is a pretty big benefit,” he
says wryly. He’s also fond of hearth and home. For all
the day-to-day stresses and repetitive routines of parenthood, he enjoys the sense of wonder being
around his children can bring. Then, too, he says,
“I’m enjoying brainwashing them to hate Duke with
all their hearts.”
ONLINE: How did you balance work, relationships,
family and life in general as you made the transition from
college to the “real world”? Did you find your job always
coming first? Did you feel isolated once you weren’t
around others mostly your own age? How did you juggle
family demands and your need for personal time?
Share your experiences on our message board at
alumni.unc.edu/jugglinglife.
